So I’m halfway through Underworld: Rise of the Lycans…

…in which Rhona Mitra takes over for Kate Beckinsale in the ass-kicking vampire chick role, and it occurs to me, “Rhona” has the same number of syllables as “Lola,” and “vampire” has the same number of syllables as “showgirl,” so if you wanted to do a parody song set the to the tune of Barry Manilow’s Copacabana (“Viktor went a bit too far / lycans sailed across the bar…”), you’d have a good running start.

Because, yeah, it’s the kind of film where you think about that sort of thing.